**_Marhaban (hello in Arabic), my name is Heather Hannoura. I've been doing a band called [HIDE](https://hide3.bandcamp.com/music) for the past 11 years. We are on tour now for our new record SPIT OR SWALLOW EVERY SOUL TASTE DEATH out 9/11. Welcome to my tour journal, I will be sharing these in weekly installments here on Buddyhead. 
Thank you Travis, love you dog. _**

Tour journal 9/4-9/11
9/4 miraculously the records made it in time and we'll have them for the show tonight. I woke up not caring about that though, just feeling excited and proud that we did it; made this as a memorial, a dead/undead reckoning, "this machine proccesses grief" ok.  That we get to do these shows with Dagger is really everything. We made this for him as much as for Làwû and witnessing his performance and getting to look into his eyes singing dancing crying in the dark...that shit is gonna be deeply healing bro. Flouncing around the country/world with this spirit could be the reboot, coming together collectively confronting the horrors of loss...not SO different from what we've always done but with Dagger it's like, it's all for you and that is different, like these are spells to ward off darkness and all the bodies in the world, all the death and destruction, we will keep watering your tree refusing to comply picking flowers eating fruit in defiant protest because we are alive, being reborn everytime we push the fuck through. 
Wound Care (our song for Dagger) lyrics say it better than I can. 
bone of animal in my hand
bone of everything in my heart
die by your own hand
live again
GET
GOD
GOOD
eat every ripe red fruit 
feeling
open your mouth and out pours the breath of life
to laugh at death lay down in a ditch and smile
and smile
you are no false idol
shut in
or coffined
made of wood and inlaid 
with green color
fashioned in such a way
which his heart could imagine

9/5
Driving from Chicago to 
Grand Rapids, looking at the clouds; sledge hammer, the bird with the snake from the Mexican flag,, baby elephant sitting down, angel on it's back. Thinking about the sky and borders and the genocide.  Thinking about diaspora and erasure...
EXIT CLOSED 
EXILE OPEN
sprawling
everywhere



9/6
Love bouncing from a proper club show to a basement. Played Grand Rapids last night. I hit my head on the duct work in the basement over and over before during and after the show, dented it up pretty good. Brandon from Could Rat set up the show and it ripped. We played w his band and Immaculate Conception (Madison and Toozday's band). Dagger brought us a watermelon, when we toured w Mirrored Fatality and Harpy last summer we'd always have gorgeous fruit plates which Láwû would decorate with whatever flowers they could find,  on the merch table to share; always interesting to see how people interact with it like some ask how much it is others take what they want, eyes would light up or not but simply we eat fruit together, it's beautiful. Period. Anyways Dagger brought a watermelon and we started cutting it up together in the kitchen of the house we were playing and he was like woah yellow ok. I told him how Seth had got me a watermelon a few days ago and said the same thing, and told Dagger what I told Seth, I said yeah remember in Seattle when we played w Baseck, Láwû got a yellow melon and we all were hanging outside the club eating it together, he remembered and we held eachother crying cutting fruit to share with everyone.  Earlier I gave him a wicked scorpion hat I'd gotten him but never sent because he's always traveling and once I sent him art to the church and it went missing so I kept it like 9 months lol. He said oh hat trade and went and got me a hat Sky made that he said was perfect for me. I swapped it w my Haram hat I wear everyday I love hat trade I love Sky.
At the end of our set I was laying on the floor crying and it was quiet for like 5 minutes no one even coughed it was like a stillness spell and I was like mmmm vibe shift how? so I said Alexa! Play Butterfly by Crazy Town and Brandon put it on and some people left but real heads stayed their asses in the b.o. filled basement and danced with us as I asked them to. Dagger was my main dance partner "so sexy almost evil" tears blinded blurry holding scream singing.

Death rebirths me
Grief gently holds my hand
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Hat Sky made from hat trade w Dagger, Econolodge outside Grand Rapids 

9/6 
Got to Hamtramck, dropped our stuff at Matt's and walked to the best dispensary ever down the street. Stopped at a Yemeni cornerstore I had bought soap I liked at before but they were out. Stopped in the thrift because I forgot to bring a jacket (forgot or wanted to thrift a new nasty little item?) and viola instantly found a vintage leather and fur shredder from the 60s for $15. Then on the way to meet Seth at Rema's I met a woman named Angelina who asked for help because she jyst had neck surgery and has four kids, I gave her what was in my pocket and we talked awhile. She showed me the scar and I said wow they lined your tattoo back up really well and she laughed and said she'd been wondering about that. She had 6 fractures and more broken bones in her neck and told me it was crazy, she didn't know this could happen but a blood infection from a bad tooth resulted in her blood like attacking these bones because they were small and near the source of the infection. We talked about how fucked up it is that they will help if you're about to die (and even then it's like 50/50 if they'll give a fuck) but won't fill a cavity as a preventative measure. Trash. Disgusting. Dehumanizing. But we were both smiling and hugged and both said we hoped we'd see each other again. She told me about a new market after I mentioned Al Haramain and told me I could call her Gigi now because we were friends. I am reminded that my hateand anger  are deeply rooted in flame licking hot love. 
I heard the call to prayer 3 times here today. Words cannot explain how it makes me feel. Stops me from doing anything but being still, closing my eyes with it's minimal yet overwhelming beauty. It always reminds me of being in Egypt for the first time, not knowing if I was dreaming or not. 
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Hamtramck garden cat

9/7
Detroit (Hamtramck actually) was cute, played w Immaculate Conception again and got to hang more w them. On the way to Small's I took alleys and saw so many gorgeous gardens so lush such bounty to be harvested in immigrants backyards. Like, this is living  this shit is A LIVE. I passed an open garage with no garage things in it but instead a big Bengali family wearing beautiful garments all circled around an enormous pot of curry they were stirring, it smelled amazing, I saw cauliflower riding the curry wave made by the big flat wooden spoon. They all smiled at me, it made me cry and I kept walking. 

The show felt good but some stuff I needed for the last song wasn't there but whatever. Dagger drove overnight to Baltimore, we went back to Matt's and went to sleep. I remember the ultra goth skulls in her mohawk girl who comes out always here who is so sweet and stoked, I remember right before I fall asleep that at the show she bought the record and put the album title sticker on her head and was running around. Love u freak.  It's yours.

Driving to Baltimore now, 9.5 hrs, Seth is driving, my knee hurts. Kneepads helping when we play but drops and car all day and I'm too big for this car. 

9/8
Baltimore show was obviously a v cute banger. Generator show at the skatepark full blood moon came up during our set, was really in it. Dagger slayed as per usual. We commiserated on our fits that night both wearing proper bottoms because there were kids at the park. His set destroys me every night. I'm so grateful to be doing this tour with him, honestly it couldn't be right any other way. A metal band played last, it was a beautiful night. We set up fruit and merch on a big rock. We stayed w Logan and Jane (Curse) who put on the show, had a chip bonanzaz (Utz crab boil, shrimp chip and Rap Snacks lil Baby hot chips; father son holy ghost) watching nature show smoking weed Seth gave me a foot rub. Everyone went to bed but me, fish tank noise, dreamed I was underwater (in a good way). Excited and feeling slightly relieved (?) to be going to the ocean tomorrow. 
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Skatepark show in Baltimore w rock merch table and yellow watermelon

9/8 
Driving to Asbury Park for two days off  in heaven (Kate's house) by the sea. Stopping at Ocean State Job Lot on the way to stock up on the out of print tinned fish I discovered in Croatia and bought all of when I could find it in the U$; this is the only spot that has it now on clearance til I buy them all from every Ocean State Job Lot location lol.  Seth is giving updates; 1 hr til Ocean State Job Lot, 41 min til Ocean State Job Lot etc. 

Watched the moon rise over the ocean by myself tonight. I walked around waiting it to get dark. Heard church bells ring eight. Threw a kissed flower in the fresh waterway and headed towards the ocean. It was cloudy and at first I didn't I'd see it but an orange streak like a dry brush stroke got brighter so slowly I couldn't tell if it was really happening or not. Then it illuminated the whole cloud, and finally showed it's full self it was stunning. I sat in the sand wind whipped and weeping. I got up to leave and didn't. Same as when I get out of the ocean, I don't. Can't stick the leaving for a few tries, I do what they want. Seth saw me get up look back stand there the last attempt and waited for me on the boardwalk, we got shitty pizza that didn't taste like anything and walked back to the house together.
Seth went to sleep and I set up Dagger's bed, cut him some fruit and waited on the porch w wine for him to arrive. 

metal medusa
swan in the dark
white rose in the reservoir

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New jacket selfie at the ocean, Asbury Park 

9/9 
Woke up early before everyone, gripped some coffee, bleached my eyebrows, gazed at the backyard garden frim the bathroom window plotting my gardening moves for the day. Went upstairs and sat in the pink octagon room where time moves different surrounded by passion flower vines, horseshoe crab exoskeletons; morning light blazing through a stained glass window. 

I pulled weeds, got tore up, cleared a spot and placed a little shrine up; black iron swan w poke erry ribbon around it's neck, circled with rotting fruit and veg from the garden. It got rained on and was beautiful all saturated colors and dripping.
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Swan shrine for Làwû

Kate came home and we busted ass in the yard for hours. Seth and Dagger went to get Ethioian food and we saw them w leftovers on the porch right when we werecleaving to go to the beach to swim in the ocean. Dagger came with. The waves were gnarly, I do what Kate does when it's rough or undertowy, she didn't go in far but I went farther and Dagger went farther than me. They both went and laid in the sand awhile. I stayed til I'd sunk in to the sea floor almost mid calf, waves crashing all around me, foam sizzling away as it dispersed. I love being here. I think about all the seas, touching everything, simply everything. I think about Gaza and the myriad ways we are all connected. Water, blood, hope, desire, steadfast working towards something better than more hell on earth.

Fresh hell
Fresher heaven

We left Dagger there in the sand, and got back to it. I picked basil, zuccini, eggplant, tomatoes, fennel and corn, I am heartbroken thinking of Seraj and his family and wish I could send them this food instead of money that gets half stiolen and is barely enough for a few vegetables.. 
We made a gorgeous feast. I made Kasbana's Egyptian fantasy so good I cried when I first had it eggplant. Kate made a delicious fresh pesto pasta. Seth and Dagger were both sleeping so me and Kate ate together then bong ripped and walked downtown to get ice cream. I am so happy and grateful to be here.  Back at the house I take a bath and sleep like a baby, I always sleep so deep here.
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Dinner harvest from Kate's garden


9/10
Woke up at 6:30 to max the hangs w Kate. She's got to go work at the diner in Philly. I was going to go back to bed but instead we drink coffee and I see her off on the porch and it is drizzling so dreamy. I drink more coffee and smoke on the porch. Dagger is up, we hug and cry in the pink kitchen before I steal off to the ocean one last time before we leave.  The grey churning sky, the grey blue steel looking water; it soothes so hard.  I want to stay but have to go. 
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Grey on grey Asbury Park
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Rose in the rain Asbury Park

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Me and Daggs and the spice cabinet at Kate's house

We are leaving Kate's today to go stay at Star Route Farm where him and Làwû spent lots of time farming over the past four five years. We pack up and go, I'm driving. The sun came out halfway there and it's cartoonishly beautiful carving through the Catskills headed to the farm. I think a lot about how intense this all is, being where you were with loved ones once they die, we are so lucky to be surrounded by love in these situations. Again, I think of Gaza, awe 
despair 
hope 

Everyone here is wonderful. Amanda gives us each a big jar of water and tells us how to get to the memorial spot where she planted a willow for Làwû. When we got to the end of the center path Dagger and Seth are looking at two bigger trees in the distance, Dagger thinks it's the one on the left but I'm like sorry ya'll neither of those are willow trees then I see it small pert not even drooping branches yet like the wee-est willow tree you wver did see, yellow trunk no bigger than my wrist and we go to it and I'm thinking about Làwû's tiny hands. This is unreal. We empty our water jars, and I notice there are rocks encircling the tree and we all get to work re setting the stones to fill gaps in the ring around the tree; pulling up grass and stuff growing in it until it's mostly cleared and then we intentionally place offerings at the base of the tree. Me and Dagger are hugging, crying quietly and I hear myself say "unreal" and move to touch the tiniest new leaves. Brutal.

We hit the creek after, Seth found a rock with a perfect tiny shell fossil, impossibly small forever I think. 

Back at the farm house we prep vegetables for dinner and fest fireside with Blue ,Mary and Amanda. We are talking and Blue says "Me tooo!" when it comes up I had Christian mom and Muslim father, they are Egyptian/Palestinian and it's dark so no one knows but I slip a tear. Meeting other queer Arabs sends me. I never knew I would or could as a kid and every time it happens a little part of my heart unlocks it's euphoric. Everybody went to bed but me Daggs and Blue and Blue gave me a tattoo. A spindly nothing everything opening crack shapeshifter decoration. A beautiful end to the day. I'm so bloody grateful. All this and I almost forget tomorrow is 9/11, and our record release day. We wouldn't be here now if we didn't make that, so I feel grateful for the band as facilitator of moments like this when everything feels so good and I feel loved accepted connected part of something.
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Opium tea Amanda made us at Star Route Farm

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Farm cat wanting to come in the house

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My new tattoo from Blue 












Heather Hannoura from HIDE reporting to you from the road of their current America tour.

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Hide - Tour Journal #1

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Words: [Keaton Kustler](https://www.instagram.com/keatonkustler/?hl=en)
Photos: [Steady Archives](https://www.instagram.com/steadyarchives/)

In September 2024, visitor access to Mt Baldy ,the tallest peak in Los Angeles County was closed due to the Bridge Fire. Reopening dates were TBD, then slated for December 2025, and then…seemingly out of nowhere, the Ski Hut and Devil’s Backbone trails partially reopened at the end of May. The Bear Canyon Trail remains closed…but Devil’s Backbone is the trail I’ve had on my list since I got really into running trail.

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So, on June 1st, I dragged my ass out of bed at 5am, with enough time to put two Celsuis and a coffee in me, and  headed up  to Claremont with my friends Kam, Sam, Steady, and Yuriko. Kam happened to be visiting from New York, and had never run a “real” trail before…but we’d just ripped a 400 mile ultra-relay race across the state of New York together , so even though this was the first trail run of her life, I knew she could hack it. 

![BALDY-23.jpg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/BALDY_23_d490f44a5b.jpg)
Sam met me at mine, we scooped up Kam along the way, and we met Steady and Yuriko on the mountain, hitting the trail by 7:30 or so. The plan was to summit via the Ski Hut route, which is the shortest but steepest way up, and to descend via Devil’s Backbone - a windy ridge with nothing but air on either side of the single track trail.  We’d make  a pit stop at The Notch for $8 cokes before zipping down the fire road to the cooler of less expensive snacks waiting for me in my car.

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I’m by no means the world’s best trail runner, and I’m garbage at vert, but the Angeles National Forest has been been calling my name all year, and having never been up Baldy, I wanted to get ‘er done before summer gets too hot, and before hordes of other runners and hikers realize Baldy is back open. We started our run at 6,000 feet of elevation, and I quickly accepted I’d be doing more hiking than running for the next 4 miles as we climbed  the additional 4,000 feet  of loose rocks up to the top.  Like real runners, our stop at at the Ski Hut, was an excuse to eat Nerds Gummy Clusters and sour worms  before noon “for fuel”.  We made  it  to the 10,064 foot peak of Mount Baldy just as the clouds started to burn off for the day. I have to pause to get back on my bullshit: Nature is crazy, and my favorite part of living in Los Angeles is how much nature I can experience for literally FREE  within an hour of my apartment. No parking fees, no permits, no tickets, no QR codes, no assholes playing shitty music on a portable bluetooth speaker…just a trail and some wooden signs stuck in the side of a mountain. There’s no railing either. You either pay attention, or you don’t…and you fall off the side of a mountain. I don’t have plans to fall off a mountain anytime soon.


![BALDY-29.jpg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/BALDY_29_94afcc2d81.jpg)
As rewarding as it was to look down on Los Angeles from 10,000 feet up, the way down was where we really got to fly. Steady casually pulled his DSLR out of hydration pack as if it was nothing. He snapped  photos of us while we all quite literally galloped down the Devil’s Backbone. It was sick as hell. Once you get some momentum going,  you’re really just prancing on this skinny little path, your eyes flitting between the ground beneath your feet, and the vast nothingness that is the drop on both sides of you.  It should feel scary, but I think the altitude makes you fearless.

![BALDY-32.jpg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/BALDY_32_e970a9c4ae.jpg)
We refilled our waters at The Notch, an overpriced bar/restaurant with an empty ski lift churning, and  put down a few more  speedy miles before rinsing off in San Antonio Falls as the sun reached its full strength for the day.  Oh- did I not mention the waterfall at the bottom of the trail? Yeah, that was pretttttty cool.  

![BALDY-27.jpg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/BALDY_27_272b2034ef.jpg)
11 miles in about 3 hours isn’t bad when you consider the vert and terrain. If you plan to go, don’t be a dumbass: make sure you carry enough water; 2 liters at least…more if it’s a scorcher. Oh…and take your rings off, your hands swell like crazy when you get up that high. 

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Nature is free. Running is free. Hiking is free. Wake up early, and go outside. You wont regret it.

--

Not a little bitch? Then come run with Keaton and [Vacant Strava club](https://www.strava.com/clubs/1568273) the first Saturday of every month. 

New contributor Keaton Kustler drops a piece about trail running on Mt Baldy. Nature is free. Running is free. Go outside. You won’t regret it.

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Mt Baldy’s open again: go climb the tallest peak in Los Angeles County.

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I just wanna brag that I haven’t smoked weed in 44 days. And if you know anything about me, that’s pretty fucking wild. I’ve smoked weed my whole adult life but for sure every single day since I quit heroin on Valentine’s Day 11 years ago. And when I say everyday I mean all day from the time I wake up until I went to sleep. Joint after joint. I mainly took a break because I wanted to see if I could do it and I’ve heard tolerance breaks are good too. And then someone told me I couldn’t do it and that’s really all I needed. That’s all I ever need, someone to doubt that I can do something or tell me I can’t. I’ll be back with the weed one day I think but right now I’m digging seeing how long I can go and honestly enjoying not smoking. I also think once you smoke weed that much and for that long, not smoking is kind of like being high. 

Anyways, just had to check in and flex a little cuz I’m proud of me lately. I love you guys, thanks for fucking with me and stay frosty fam.

- TK

Portrait by the ever talented [Stephanie Nicole Smith](http://Stephanienicolesmithphotography.com)

Checking in and taking a break from one of my favorite things.

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No smoke from your editor

In a time before Instagram, before Facebook, before any social media. It was before blogs, before Vice and before Pitchfork and before everyone had a camera in their pocket.

ON THE LASH is the story of Buddyhead.com, one of the first independent music websites on the internet as well as boutique record label. A DIY webzine that was getting 9.5 million hits a month, putting the music industry on blast via the gossip page, record reviews and interviews. Let’s not forget turning down $9 million dollars multiple times during the dot com bubble. Co-directed by Travis Keller and Joe Cardamone and produced by Shepard Fairey and Elgin James.

It’s also the story of the Los Angeles punk band The Icarus Line, the last true rock n’ roll gang in my opinion. A bunch of dropouts and misfits when they started, without a dime to rub together but they still managed to continuously put out art and travel around the globe multiple times over. A band that was a love letter to the Southern California underground which gave birth to them. This is the story of how they navigated the rough waters of independent and major labels alike, the music scene they infiltrated, the shows they played, the records they made, our travels around the world on tour and everything and everyone around em.

This is a story about rock n roll, the music industry, art, the beginning of the internet, punk, Los Angeles, putting records out, doing it yourself, being on tour, friendship, drugs, not giving a fuck and being true to yourself despite what everyone else says.

We were fiercely independent and stubbornly resilient.  We didn’t wait for permission.  We were making new friends.  And we were making fresh enemies.  It was us VS the world and we went in swinging. Courted and feared by major record labels. Too rock n’ roll for the punk establishment and too punk for the mainstream.  

Filmmakers Travis Keller and Joe Cardamone ask each other three questions about the process of making indie projects and navigating creativity:

[[Watch Trailer #1](https://youtu.be/7lEoWov1854?si=F74CLtc3lTv7deCw)]

[[Watch Trailer #2](https://youtu.be/ypuryFMLvRQ?si=JdxwTwQiyVKtK3ay)]

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_Photography by [Mimi Chakravorty](https://www.chakravortyimages.com/)_

JOE - What films inspired you to start picking up a camera?  Do any of them still influence the work you are doing right now?

TRAVIS - While I loved movies as a kid it really was skateboard videos that made me think I could actually go pick up a camera and start making art myself.

Skateboarding, skateboard videos and skateboard culture in general have been and probably still are the biggest influencers on my work. In skateboarding landing tricks is everything and being able to prove that was a must for teenage me, so I got myself a VHS-C camera, a wide angle lens and started filming my friends. Later I moved on to Mini-DV. Skateboarding is a place where outcasts, weirdos, outsiders or just people that are maybe a little different can thrive and that world is really what got me into everything I’m into which includes music, art, underground culture, photography and filming. It also taught me that failure is an important part of the process and if you keep trying you can achieve pretty much everything, you just have to keep getting back up when you fall.

I was really inspired by “The Questionable Video” and “Virtual Reality” made by Mike Ternasky for Plan B Skateboards, I watched them both so many times I still have them memorized 30 years later. I was also really into all the videos Spike Jonze made for Girl and Chocolate Skateboards, Blind “Video Days”, the 411 video magazine series and “Barbarians At The Gate” by Foundation skateboards was also a very big one for me too. I loved the non-linear mix of tricks, wrecks, skits and interactions with security guards, police and randoms on the street. The shooting style and aesthetic of these movies definitely affected the way I see things but I think more importantly what I took from them was their DIY ethos. All these videos I was obsessed with were just made by a bunch of kids who looked like me with a camera. They didn’t ask anyone for permission, they got out there and got what they needed and they had fun doing it. And most importantly… they made me feel like I could do that too.

I also love and am heavily influenced by John Carpenter, Terrence Malick, Alejandro Jodorowsky, Stanley Kubrick, Alfred Hitchcock and The Coen Brothers.

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JOE - Did you have any feeling that you might be witnessing a special moment or scene of underground music while you were on tour with The Icarus Line, At the Drive In or any of the other band you traveled with?

TRAVIS - Yeah, from the moment I touched down in Los Angeles in 1997 I found myself smack-dab in the Los Angeles punk scene and it definitely felt like I was in the middle of something really special. I shifted the focus of my camera from skateboarders to everyone around me in the punk scene because my friends were all in bands, talented and just doing cool shit like playing shows, promoting shows, putting records / 7-inches out, making flyers and even going on tour. Our little scene would go nationwide, eventually international and I would get to tour with bands like The Icarus Line, At The Drive-In, Murder City Devils, 400 Blows, Ink & Dagger, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Primal Scream, A Perfect Circle, Nine Inch Nails, Queens of the Stone Age, Autolux, Bauhaus and more.

JOE - As a life long DIY artist and supporter of independent thought, what are the positives to crowd funding efforts like indie a go go ?

TRAVIS - The main positive about crowd funding is that we have complete creative control of the project and can make the exact movie we want to make and that our audience wants to see. This film has been a long time in the making as we’ve been threatening to make this movie since I started shooting it in 1998 so I can’t risk it getting fucked up by anyone meddling in our vision. We need to be able to make our movie and say exactly what we want to say.

Another reason we’re going this route is because it will be a left of the dial documentary, it won’t be like all the other cookie cutter music documentaries so doing it ourselves eliminates having to catch anyone up on our vision. We have our own production company with American Primitive that includes all the gear and personnel needed to make this film, we just need to be able to afford the time to make this thing as good as it’s going to be.

There will be no modern footage from now, only footage of the time so that you are not taken out of it and reminded you are watching a documentary. I promise you that Dave Grohl’s talking head from 2025 will not be in this movie. This film is also our own personal story and you only get one of those so no one’s gonna fuck it up unless it’s us. This is a chance for the audience to get involved and help make a project that they want to see come to life. And let’s be honest this is just how independent voices are heard these days, they don’t make it easy. Who wants to be a producer?

JOE - Whats one main difference between the way music was back when ON THE LASH was filmed and how it is these days?

TRAVIS - Everything honestly. We were the death rattle of rock n’ roll bands, we were the last rock n’ roll gang. The entire world that we grew up in no longer exists and with it the musical landscape has completely changed too. Due to economics most people can’t afford to do bands hence the landslide of DJs and synth projects, but also live music was forever altered by the presence of cell phones in everyone’s hands. People act different now, everyone’s camera ready and aware. And then there’s how people listen and discover music these days, it’s all jacked. It’s not the same world at all.

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TRAVIS - Coming from a musical background, what inspired you and gave you confidence to get involved in film?

JOE - Growing up in Los Angeles movies are in the peripheral from day one.  It's the industry that built this town.  On top of that my father had a career as a child actor in the late 60's so that was also a factor in our house. The thing about it being a huge industry is that a lot of the work they produce is super corporate and safe for the masses. Huge budgets and stars and lots of masters to bow to.  Very early on that was un attractive to me.  When I found punk rock music  and diy ideas it quickly led me to music. It was an form of expression that was somewhat  attainable coming from my socioeconomic background and I could work with as few compromises as possible.  A thing of beauty to an anti authoritarian idealist.  As I made music my focus, independent and underground film came hand in hand.  A lot of my favorite artists were discovered through indie films and docs like Decline of the Western Civilization or Repo Man.  I always saw film as something out of reach because when we were kids you needed to shoot on actual film and that took teams oof people and money bags.  So even though I was inspired to tell stories visually it seemed expensive. 

Music took off for me and I ended up spending almost 20 years touring the globe in my band The Icarus Line.  Near the end of the band, right as the last nails were going in,  my friend Micheal Grodner approached me about doing a film based on the band and my life.  At first I really wasn't sure why anyone would want to see that but eventually Grodner warmed me to the idea and we began filming The Icarus Line Must Die.  TILMD ended up being a life changing experience for me.  I had the chance to write and act in a feature film with a bunch of trusted friends. An ideal circumstance for someone who was always weary of the movie industry.  I think the budget was maybe 10k including the food.  The results far exceeded my expectations and we toured the feature to screenings and film festivals.  On production I met Jacob Mendel  who is still my DP almost a decade later.  I realized that with modern tech we could make films in a very similar way to starting a band.  You  just  grab some gear and ideas and run for the hills.    Really it's the same process as music in a lot of ways.

TRAVIS - What are the parallels between being an independent musician and an independent film maker?

JOE - I think that there are a few major parallels. One of them is that being independent can offer less financial incentives but also be rewarding with the freedom you get when there's suits in the room.  I'm not saying everyone in a suit is a demon but sometimes an idea needs freedom  and support to organically grow.  Terrance Malik and Jarmusch know this.  Abel Ferrara knows this.  John Coltrane knew this.  Micheal Gira knows this.  Tarkovsky knew. Coppola knows it.  The heroes know and they spend a lifetime fighting for it.

I think that music and film in the best of circumstances come from a very similar place creatively.  The Ideas come from a small spot inside your being somewhere and start to reveal themselves the more you allow them to.  Really being dedicated to allowing yourself to be sensitive to those moments when an idea peaks at you is so important.  It took me time to be a sort of conduit for creative sparks. Since music is so much about instant intuitive decisions and inspirations; that skill really trained me to be on set seeing the angles. 

One other thing music and film have in common for me is that forming a gang of like minded individuals is paramount.  Working with people who are you friends and peeps and whos opinions you respect is so important to me.  Even though we are a small crew everyone involved has a specific way of seeing things that is all their own but also have the ability to hear each other and adapt.  Wether it's music or film, you want the people around you to be talented,  fearless and a good hang.  This has always been a recipe for good art to me.

![nofilmschool6.jpeg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/nofilmschool6_e3bca98aff.jpeg)

TRAVIS - Could you maybe talk a little bit about what types of movies or even what directors inspire or influence you in your work?

JOE - My first records were Thriller and Appetite for Destruction.  These two were the first works that moved me to the point of hundreds of listens alone at night through headphones.  When I got a little older and had more independence I really discovered punk rock and black music.  Now to me punk rock means and meant anything from Throbbing Gristle to Black Flag to The Birthday Party.  It has always been much more of mindset than a genre and in fact if you claim you are in the punk genre then I would probably not consider it punk at all.  To me,  Playboi Carti is punk in a lot of ways.  Black music was my other huge love.  I think Maggot Brain  and There's a riot goin on might have been the albums that really changed the way I thought about music but also To Pimp a Butterfly might have changed the way I thought about art. 

Around the same time I was immersing myself  in underground music I also found indie theaters and video rental heavens.  In Pasadena there was like 6 indie theaters growing up playing everything from the new Woody Allen or Kubrick to Dogma 98 films and Harmony Korine. The local video stores like Videoteque and Mondo carried banned films and bootlegs that came through underground networks and trading.  There was no youtube so you really had to figure out where to look for subculture.  I rented Peckinpahs Straw Dogs just on the cover art and it blew my mind.  The Exorcist was also such a huge one. I used to put that on when I babysat my siblings.  Eraserhead was another VHS that was rented on a guess and my brain was never the same.  Paris Texas, Climax, Goodfellas, The Thing ....I'm such a huge fan of great films the list could go on forever.

![nofilmschool7.jpeg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/nofilmschool7_cb4b5fc947.jpeg)

TRAVIS - Why do you think On The Lash is a story that needs to be told in 2025?

JOE - I think the thing that makes On The Lash relevant in today’s age is that it can serve so many purposes.  I think it's inspirational in a sense.  A bunch of kids from not much end up making not very commercial music and doing an anti establishment website that end up catching fire enough to travel the world and meet their heroes.  All based on their friendships, art and attitude.  The film is also a document of a time that holds somewhat of a mystery at this point.  This was before the corporate door was slammed on music so we kinda slid in there as one of the last punk gangs to get signed to a big label. There is no way this would happen today and in fact it's happened very little since. The contrast between who Buddyhead and The Icarus Line were vs the relatively mainstream world we were thrust into head first on fire. 

![nofilmschool3.jpeg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/nofilmschool3_c418dead1a.jpeg)

Travis Keller is a Los Angeles based filmmaker, writer and photographer who's articles and photos have been seen in VICE, Rolling Stone, LA Weekly, Kerrang and NME. Besides ON THE LASH he is currently putting together his first photo book covering the late 90's too mid 2000's music scene featuring rare moments with artists like Elliot Smith, Nine Inch Nails, Queens of the Stone Age, At the Drive In and The Icarus Line.

Joe Cardamone is a Los Angeles based musician, producer and visual artist who has been touring and releasing albums consistently since the late 90's. He has produced music with Mark Lanegan, Jesus and Mary Chain and The Stooges. He wrote and stared in the indie cult film THE ICARUS LINE MUST DIE. He is currently in the studio putting final touches on the sequel to his duo with Mark Lanegan: Dark Mark v Skeleton Joe. 

A conversation between Joe Cardamone and Travis Keller about their upcoming film "On The Lash: The Buddyhead Movie" that was originally done for nofilmschool but they flaked. So in true Buddyhead fashion we're posting it here for you anyways. We are the real DIY no film school...  meet no school at all 


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On The Lash: The interview rejected by nofilmschool

****A LETTER FROM THE EDITOR****

![469070594_122129512328467222_8366637217692164131_n.jpg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/469070594_122129512328467222_8366637217692164131_n_d7b41931f7.jpg)
###### __(photo by [Stephanie Smith](https://www.instagram.com/stphnnclsmth?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==))__
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Just like the McRib, for better or worse… Buddyhead is back! 

I'm writing this letter cuz it's been a while. 

Just wanting to say hi again and welcome in the old school heads from back in the day, as well as my new friends alike. I started this website back in 1998 out of sheer boredom and with the intent of shedding light on things I didn't think got enough attention. I also wanted to make my friends and myself laugh our asses off. Well, fast-forward a few lifetimes, it’s now 2024 and this site has been gone for a while yet it seems no one has taken our place and there’s still a glaring lack of independent voices in our corporately dominated world. So here we are to fill that void again just like we've been filling up your mom, you're welcome chat!

So like that, we back. 

We back to combat mediocrity, stamp out wackness and to spread art and knowledge to the best of our collective ability.

**BUDDYHEAD DOT COM**

Gonna start putting content up on here now that the site is built. Shout out to everyone from the Buddyhead discord who made this place happen. I love ya all for your help and continued imput cuz this spot is very much a work in progress.

For starters, we are going to focus on three main sections around here. News/Gossip, Zine and Reviews. The first one, News/Gossip is just what it sounds like, news pieces and due to popular request - the classic Buddyhead Gossip section will also be returning in some form or another. No promise that'll be funny. The zine area will be for any written / video features, interviews, essays and the like. The reviews section will be much like the old Buddyhead record reviews except we’ll not just be reviewing music, we’re opening it up to reviews of everything and anything. Send us things to review! And yes, the Axl Rose rating system is returning! We’re giving the people what they want finally!

If you wanna be down and think you got what it takes to be part of Buddyhead: we are currently accepting applications for designers, writers and content creators who share this vision and would like to contribute to this project. If you are into not getting paid and down for the scene, then shoot us an email at tmk@buddyhead.com with some examples of your work. Don’t cry if I don’t write you back right away.

**ON THE LASH: THE BUDDYHEAD MOVIE**

We are in the process of making a movie about Buddyhead. It's also about The Icarus Line, the time before everyone had a cell phone and social media, Los Angeles, the early 2000's punk scene and more. It's a project compiled of over 250 hours of DV tapes, thousands of 35mm photographs as well as our combined experiences. We’ve wanted to make this film since I shot this footage about 25 years ago. 

If you'd like to help us make the movie we wanna make and the movie you wanna see, please donate to the <a href="https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/on-the-lash-the-buddyhead-movie-2#/" class="plausible-event-name=MovieDonation" target="_blank">Indiegogo Campaign</a>. If you can't donate, please share the link with anyone who might and be able to help us.

**WHAT IT’S ABOUT**

_It’s the birth of the internet, it’s the death rattle of the old world and its story of Buddyhead and The Icarus Line. It’s a time capsule constructed from over 250 hours of mini DV tapes and thousands of 35mm photographs shot between 1998 and 2005.

Co-directed by Travis Keller and Joe Cardamone

Produced by Shepard Fairey and Elgin James

Unseen footage and unheard stories featuring: The Icarus Line, At The Drive-In, Murder City Devils, Ink & Dagger, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, 400 Blows,, F.Y.P, Le Shok, Cave In, The Dillinger Escape Plan, Shat, Fugazi, Elliott Smith, Mars Volta, A Perfect Circle, Primal Scream, Kevin Shields, Autolux, Iggy Pop, Greg Ginn (Black Flag), Keith Morris (Circle Jerks), Queens of The Stone Age, The Distillers, Nine Inch Nails, Wesley Willis, Blink 182, The Get Up Kids, A Perfect Circle, Dead Meadow, Battles, The Evaporators, Jimmy Eat World, AFI, The Blood Brothers, Reggie and the Full Effect, Les Savy Fav, Bauhaus, Mike D, Andrew WK, The Neptunes, Fred Durst, Steve Aoki, Courtney Love, Axl Rose, Marilyn Manson, My Chemical Romance, Avenged Sevenfold, Korn, The Vines, Moby, Weezer, The Strokes tour bus, Stevie Ray Vaughan’s guitar, Calvin Johnson, Boy George, Bono and Nardwuar.

This is the film about me and my friends.

It was a time before Instagram, before Facebook, before any social media. It was before blogs, before Vice and before  Pitchfork and before everyone had a camera in their pocket. 

This is the story of Buddyhead.com, one of the first independent music websites on the internet as well as boutique record label. A DIY webzine that was getting 9.5 million hits a month, putting the music industry on blast via the gossip page, record reviews and interviews. And let’s not forget turning down $9 million dollars multiple times during the dot com bubble.

It’s also the story of the Los Angeles punk band The Icarus Line, the last true rock n’ roll gang in my opinion. A bunch of dropouts and misfits when they started, without a dime to rub together but they still managed to continuously put out art and travel around the globe multiple times over. A band that was a love letter to the Southern California underground which gave birth to them. This is the story of how they navigated the rough waters of independent and major labels alike, the music scene they infiltrated, the shows they played, the records they made, our travels around the world on tour and everything and everyone around us. 

This is my story about rock n roll, the music industry, art, the beginning of the internet, punk, Los Angeles, putting records out, doing it yourself, being on tour, friendship, drugs, not giving a fuck and being true to yourself despite what everyone else says. 

We were fiercely independent and stubbornly resilient.  We didn’t wait for permission.  We were making new friends.  And we were making fresh enemies.  It was us VS the world and we went in swinging. Courted and feared by major record labels. Too rock n’ roll for the punk establishment and too punk for the mainstream.  

And we were definitely… on the lash!

This is our story._

Deadline did a feature on the movie [here](https://deadline.com/2024/11/buddyhead-documentary-1236178737/). 

**AMERICAN PRIMITIVE**

American Primitive is the art collective and production company I am a part of along with Joe Cardamone, Sean Cardamone and Jacob Mendel. We’ve got over 50 music videos under our belt, a script movie Joe wrote in production and we’ll be make the Buddyhead Movie as well. You can view our work on [American Primitive](https://americanprimitive.org/films/)

**LOST ANGELES**

![IMG_2136.png](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/IMG_2136_0dd7d44b73.png)
![IMG_2139 2.png](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/IMG_2139_2_2bdc85db97.png)
In the spirit of the DIY venues we came up on, we’ve opened a pop up art space called Lost Angeles in the Pico Union district of Downtown Los Angeles. Built and run by Joe Cardmone, Sean Cardamone and myself it’s a place we can make art, stream and hold events occasionally. Who knows how long something this cool will last so come check out the community we building and enjoy it while you can. Follow the Lost Angeles IG for updates: [lost_angeles_1457](https://www.instagram.com/lost_angeles_1457)

**UPCOMING EVENTS**

![dec16.jpg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/dec16_8664dab7b4.jpg)
December 16th: Jozef Van Wissem will be performing a live score to a screening of the 1922 classic "Nosferatu" starring Max Schreck. Gather with us for this rare and special event. Tickets are limited, purchase [here](https://restlessnites.com/events/nosferatulivescorebyjozefvanwissem16dec2024?ttf_r=1853467).

![906B21A0-3625-4581-8644-0A96E6E43F71 copy.jpg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/906_B21_A0_3625_4581_8644_0_A96_E6_E43_F71_copy_523b6ff80b.jpg)
December 21st: the return of Real Cool Time our monthly night market. Vinyl vendors, vintage sellers, tattoo artists, good vibes and beer. All vinyl DJs: House Shoes, La Cosecha, Discos Del Alma, Skeletone Joe and Buddyhead. RSVP [here](https://partiful.com/e/p1DlB2YZXm03eYOmy8MV?fbclid=IwY2xjawHDHFJleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHfRaveU5mRBgFHJMFJ96V2cnDRDBOMJbfYVz5-jpql-f7OFKY66DNUokBg_aem_wY9B4JqWlpNW40G0zJLIqg).

**BUDDYHEAD PATREON**

![Patreon.jpg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/Patreon_cce417ad07.jpg)
If you dig what I’m doing, another way to support is joining the Patreon. I post extras of everything there, memes, photos, videos, everything. Get first looks at all my projects, iPhone dumps, rants and group chat with me. [Buddyhead Patreon](https://patreon.com/buddyhead?utm_medium=clipboard_copy&utm_source=copyLink&utm_campaign=creatorshare_fan&utm_content=join_link)

**LINKAGE TO FOLLOW**

- [Buddyhead Linktree](https://linktr.ee/buddyhead)
- [Buddyhead on YouTube:](https://www.youtube.com/@BUDDYHEAD)
- [Buddyhead on twitch:](https://m.twitch.tv/buddyhead)
- [Buddyhead on twitter:](https://x.com/buddyhead_)
- [Buddyhead on Bluesky:](https://bsky.app/profile/buddyhead.bsky.social)
- [Buddyhead_ on instagram:](https://www.instagram.com/buddyhead_/)
- [Buddyhead69 on instagram:](https://www.instagram.com/buddyhead69)
- [Buddyheadphoto on instagram:](https://www.instagram.com/buddyheadphoto)
- [NotBuddyhead on instagram:](https://www.instagram.com/notbuddyhead/)
- [Buddyheadforever on instagram:](https://www.instagram.com/buddyheadforever)
- [Buddyheadcantbestopped on instagram:](https://www.instagram.com/buddyheadcantbestopped)
- [Buddyhead Online Store:](https://buddyheadstore.myshopify.com)

![tk2.jpg](https://bhapi.buddyhead.com/uploads/tk2_5ef765b33b.jpg)

SIGN UP FOR THE BUDDYHEAD WORLD DOMINATION EMAIL LIST ON THIS SITE.

Much like the McRib, Buddyhead is back. Yep, we back to fill the void of independent voices in music, art, film, politics  and whatever else the fuck we want.

The Zine

Hide - Tour Journal #1

Mt Baldy’s open again: go climb the tallest peak in Los Angeles County.

No smoke from your editor

On The Lash: The interview rejected by nofilmschool

A Letter From The Editor