Hide - Tour Journal #2

Marhaban (hello in Arabic), my name is Heather Hannoura. I've been doing a band called HIDE for the past 11 years. We are on tour now for our new record SPIT OR SWALLOW EVERY SOUL TASTE DEATH out 9/11. Welcome to my tour journal, I will be sharing these in weekly installments here on Buddyhead. Thank you Travis, love you dog.

Read part 1

9/11-9/20 9/11 left the farm after a dreamy morning, I am going to come back here and work sometime next year. Would be so cool to bring Evan here. Seth dropped me off at Chris and Stephanie's then went to get an oil change. We went to one of their friend's farms to drop something off and I rolled around on the ground with their really great dog, gazed lovingly/longingly at an enormous weeping willow and then we picked chicken of the woods off a stump they'd directed us to. We went back to the house, I grabbed my stuff and they dropped me off at the venue. We were all locked IN, the show was really sick. Crying during your friend's set every night is new for me, nothing hits like this really. Sunk Heaven played a beautiful set, moving through the crowd looking everyone deeply in the eye, so confrontational. Love to see it. After the show Dagger went back to the farm and we all went back to Chris and Stephanie's, Austin stayed w us there. Stephanie cooked the mushrooms and we watched Tales from the Crypt until everyone went to bed. The record is out now. Big whoop lol.

 Dog I love in Troy 9/12 left for Philly with a stop in Jersey to pick up more shirts. So great to see those guys, crazy we've known eachother like 25 years now, I hired them in the late 90s to print (redacted) merch, my own stuff and now they print my band's merch. Got to Philly too late to go to Hardena's but Son made insano delicious cookies and we have lots of fruit for the show. The show was great, we played with Katy Otto's band, she's such an angel, I love her so much, while they were sound checking I walked by and she's like "I'm so grateful and excited to be existing on the same time line as you heather!" And I was like same. All my fave people get excited like children and it was really heart warming to watch Seth open up and spark to love her when she was telling us about her favorite nature places. Maybe I was projecting but I think I saw it happen and it was beautiful. Marrissa was there too and we hadn't seen eachother in ten years, I fucking love her, a real dog PERIOD. Had a great convo w her and Nazreen (Ashley's wife who I met and clocked as Persian instantly lol) about (redacted). Kate took a break from the diner to come see us too, brought me "my order" and we teen hang'd in the backyard. Aftwr the set we danced to Butterfly and it made me cry having Kate in the mix w Dagger and Nimir like such a generational moment it was affirming. Kate went back to work and the rest of us went out for one drink at the spot Seth was trying to get food from earlier. Some people bounced to a rave, we went back to God's to sleep but I couldn't.

9/13 went to the farmer's market before leaving for Richmond, it was overwhelming, lotsa cuties lotsa dogs; saw Son and Nazreen and one of Dagger's friends we met last night. I got in line at the stand that takes ebt and got some fruit. Seth got bread and cheese and we had a dirtbag feast on the drive. We stopped for gas in the DC outskirts by a military base or something. There were fighter jets going back and forth overhead so fucking loud it made my ears rattle. I saw one when we were on the freeway still. When I got out of the car I could hear them even closer but only saw big birds of prey gliding slowly in circles?when I looked up, really horrifying to hear the jet sound but see only birds. Started crying. Thought about how this is a constant for people in Gaza and how impossible it is to even begin to understand the horror of that reality.

When we got to town I met Cris at the tattoo shop to get my hand touched up and Seth went bopping. The shop was closed so it was just us two and Obi. There's a fig tree next door that we smoked weed by while I picked figs. When I got to Bandito's (the venue where we were playing in "el diablo room" lol) I had this convo w the door man. Him: are you here for the show? Me: yeah my band is playing Him: which band Me: points to HIDE Him: there's a watermelon inside for you Me: oh great, thanks for letting me know Him: do you have any guest list or anything? Me: yes Him: just write it down here Me: ok thanks (it's written on my leg, I copy it down, door man seems perturbed) Me: everything cool? We all good? Him: what's the watermelon for? Me: it's food, for eating Him: (seemingly not believing me) well I'm not cleaning watermelon up tonight Me: no, sir, you are not Ok girl like this guy would clean anything, he'd make somebody else do it, he's clearly the money man working the door because he doesn't trust anybody else to do it. When I'm hanging w Dagger and Nimir at the bar he keeps eye balling me and I'm like LOOK AWAY sir and then find out he harrassed Nimir and Dagger about the watermelon too. Like very worried he might have to clean something up. He did not harrass or even mention the watermelon to Seth, who also similarly walked up and said I'm in HIDE. Men are so cool for real lmfao.

Show is weird but good, I guess we can't play here without some technical difficulty, this time it's a weird limiter on the monitors and compression no one asked for making shit drop out, can't hear the vocals, walked out to sound person 2x during the set to ask for more vocals; overhear them explaining some shit to Seth after the show. Hanging w Cris, Dagger, Nathan, Heather outside and some bros like it's high school walk by and say some dumb shit to us and we all clap back like it's literally high school so fucking weird.

We stayed at Pete's, Cris picked me up in the morning , I did laundry, showered, laughed, cried, drank coffee, smoked weed, identified a mushroom Cris was gonna eat that was straight up poisonous lol. I'm glad I went over there, it was almost like being by myself but not.

Figs I picked in Richmond

9/14 leaving VA for Raleigh; watched a digital billboard change from an ad for machine guns to a memorial for Charlie Kirk. billboard for "Abortion Pill Reversal"

We got to Lump early and were going to go do a nature thing after we dropped our gear off but I tweaked my back. We still went to the woods, it was really lovely but I was in a lot of pain and ended up just laying on the cold concrete floor in the gallery room next to the room the show was hapenning in. I could hear everyone's set. Simone who I met last time played, I wanted to watch but couldn't. When we played here last time Seth was like there was someone crying during our whole set and I was like that was me and Simone came up to me also crying and we just hugged and cried together then went outside and ate watermelon and smoked a j. Láwû coded hang, in their honor; like I said ok thank you for feelings w me now let's go do these other things. I fell down during our set and just stayed there awhile and did the closing ceremony on a noise table with Seth's help instead of on the floor. We ended up staying at Simone's alhamdullilah because when we got there they had a bath ready for me and their sibling gave me the best massage I've ever had, it was amazing. I felt so cared for it was beautiful and affirming again to feel like people can and will help me. Simone rubbed Seth's back too, I couldn't see but it was so cute us getting worked on by these loving caring siblings. Simone also has a doberman who slept w me like a baby and I woke up feeling a lot of relief.

Me and Simone's doberman

9/15 gorgeous drive to Asheville but in a lot of pain from sitting in the car. I can't carry anything so I just laid in the car for awhile once we got there. We'd been back to this spot, Static Age, since we played here w Mirrored Fatality but it hit different w Dagger here. We both had really vivid memories from being here together and agreed that what we are doing is really hard but we had to and were so grateful to be doing it together which really like what the fuck could we do? I don't know what'sgoing to happen after this but I know we had to/have to do this together. His set was so brutal, he is amazing and I weep on a stool up front because I can't stand up very well. I usually spit clean the floor on my hands and knees during SUZCKA at the beginning of our set, it's a nod to my mother. She would play Moonlight Sonata on the piano in an almost trance like state. I remember scaring her all the time because I'd come home and sit on the stairs just listening sometimes crying to her play it over and over. She would atart playing when it was still light out and keep playing until the sun went down and it was dark, without stopping to turn on the little lamp on the piano. The piano was in the living room where our dog, a big baddie of a doberman my mom named Suzcka (she told me it meant "sugar" in Polish but I learned it actually meant "little bitch" later which was so much more fitting) was not allowed because of the white carpet. One day Suczka got in there though and took a huge shit on the rug and I walked downstairs to my mom hysterically cleaning the carpet almost swearing through clenched teeth. It was so awful to see her like this and I wish I didn't have this memory but I do and the song/performance is what I did with it 30 years later. Anyways I couldn't do it with my back so I swept the rose petals from Dagger's set up with dirt from the club floor and used the pile as a pillow.

We stayed with the tree people, well one of them, Reid and their partner Kev in their RV in an RV park in town. They are angels. I love them both so much. We met Reid w the other tree people years ago when we were on tour w Harpy in New Orleans. We were trying to take a photo of us all cartwheeling at the same time and these cuties were like we can take the photo for you. Then Seth saw them randomly walk by the club we were playing that night, got them in the show and we've been friends ever since. A beautiful friendship.

Seth was obsessed w the RV. It reminded me of Smith's mom's double wide in Ukiah and I missed them both a lot being there. We bopped about w Reid the next day after I got acupuncture for my back, got Dagger and Nimir some gifts and went to the cemetery together. They gave me (redacted) for my back which was amazing.

9/16 Knoxville: spit pact by the train tracks before Nimir leaves, show is good, we stayed at a hotel a little out of town that we'd stayed at before, took a bath, watched Forensic Files and went to bed.

Photo Nimir took of us eating at the merch table after the show in Knoxville

9/17 driving to Atlanta, stopped at a big knife store in the Smoky Mountains on a cute kid named Spencer's recommendation. I bought Evan a whittling knif at the gas station Spencer works and we started talking and he said if my son likes whittling I should bring him up there because he loves whittling too and really enjoyed it. He was so sweet and for sure queer and I was so happy we had our sweet little exchange. Later in tje drive I tepped on a big carpentry nail outside the gas station. It wemt through my show straight in the middle of my big toe. Seth had to help me pull it out. It was really in there. Richie came early and we went for a walk did a j catching up as is our little custom now. Met Park who is amazing oh my god; wept during the performance, fucking YES all the way it was so beautiful and brutal. BIMBOS also ruled, it was such a sick bill. Best sounding show of the tour, they are so nice here, grateful for places like this (The Earl) who will put you on, promote the show, feed you and pay you because they like yoir band not because the show will make them moneu. It's wild that I can only think of like three other venues in the U$ that do that. Bill and Julianne came for a minute but had to bounce. We stayed at their house, had our own rooms, pet all their dogs and left for Florida.

Seth putting my sock and shoe back on after I stepped on the carpentry nail

9/18 Day off. We drove to Jessie and Lucas' house in St.Augustine. Always feels crazy being back here which is why we didn't tour here til last year; ten years since I lived here but absolutely slayed the entire state last summer w Harpy and Mirrored Fatality on tour. Feels different now, really sad, but we had to come back w Dagger for Làwû. We swam in the poil and smoked weed and went to bed.\

Corpse flowers blooming at Jessie's house

9/19 Hung out in the pool w the dogs and Jessie til she had to go to work then bopped up to Jacksonville. It was great to see -redacted- but everything felt heavy and bad. He's the first trans person to own a business in the city. We had a lot to talk about given the FBI potential designation of trans people as nihilist terrorists or whatever that came out today. The show was really honestly awful vibes. It was goth night but nobody watched the bands. When Dagger started I walked in and there were people watching; I went up front and looked back at some point to find the room empty except for a guy filming on his phone. We played and there was no one in there except Dagger and maybe the same guy filming. It was awkward as fuck to have him filming w nobody else in there so I asked him to please stop filming us and he said ok and left the room, begging the question why was he there in the first place? To get some "content"? fuck off, we aren't a photo opp. Once we finished everyone came in for dancing. We left quick, back to Jessie's, back to the pool, back to bed, just wanted the day to be over.

9/20 laying in the pool on the big gator floaty I can hear my pulse reverberating in the air of the floaty above the water and it trips me out and makes me sad. I went to the thrift store and drove by my old house and where a big fig tree (place of worship) used to be but it was gone and I just cried and cried silently driving back to the house. We left for Orlando later than we planned to . The show was good, lots of cute freaks. Hugged Dagger for ages both of us crying by the bathroom. He was like are you alright? And I said yeah are you? And he said are you? And I was like no dog I'm not. I feel insane and confused and sad like what horror we dredge nightly this shit is hard as it is healing. Some guy was like "um are you waiting for the bathroom?" the fuck we are having the menty break down bro move along. I talked to someone after who asked what the piece we performed was about. We hugged and cried and they said they knew it they knew it was about grief and they were grieving and I said everyone should be. And we talked abot how grief is the leveller and how it's cruel we aren't all crying and holding each other or at least getting softer and kinder as a whole and how denying sadness and sorrow kills every other feeling as well. We got a cheap hotel a little ways out of town and Dagger stayed w Matt who did the show. Last summer we all stayed there except Dagger, and the thought of staying there was too much for me, I was falling apart all day thinking about the doorknob being slick from Làwû's oiled hands and was so relieved to find somewhere else because I honestly felt a little horrified at the idea of staying there. We are going to Weeki Wachi springs tomorrow w Dagger to swim and see the mermaid show. I went w redacted amd my kid 12 yrs ago and cried the whole time, it was really surreal and beautiful and I was filled w childlike wonder.

Hide tour: 9/26 New Orleans LA The Fred Hampton Free Store 9/27 Nashville TN Dark Matter Collective 9/28 St.Louis Kerr Foundation