The Fantastical Return Of The W. Axl Rose Rating System For Reviews!

Due to an overwhelming popular demand the Buddyhead review section is back! Yep, this is the new Buddyhead who gives the people what they want. But to add a new twist, instead of limiting our reviews to just records Buddyhead will now be reviewing everything and anything. Could be a new album, could be a new guitar pedal, could be a pair of running shoes, or a camera, skateboard, weed product, alcohol, you fucking name it and we could possibly review it if it so tickles our fancy. Exciting right? Haha oh hell yeah it’s a new era brother! Send us free shit to review cuz let’s be honest we’re only in this to soak up all the free shit we can. And due to the fact that we’re a one-trick pony over here (not to mention the number of new amazing Axl photos available on the internet) the infamous Axl Rose rating system is back as well! Buddyhead certainly couldn’t be any happier to have ol’ Billy Bruce Rose back on staff nuking all the posers out there as well as handing out congratulations when needed! This new rating system will be how Buddyhead will “grade” all of the future reviews from now on so study the images and their descriptions below so that you know what the score is when you see an Axl icons on the reviews. So, without further ado, here are the new and improved “Axl Ratings” and how they break down… Let’s fucking gooo!

Legendary This is legendary! It’s pretty much perfect which reminds Axl of his perfect album “Appetite for Destruction” and that time when he was just vibing with and smiling next to a dolphin at the end of the “Estranged” music video, which was right after the dolphins swam down Sunset Blvd past The Rainbow and Slash and then Axl just jumped off an oil tanker to swim with em’. Good times! This vibe transports Axl mentally back to when his music video budgets were like $4 million bucks, converse was making him custom AXL shoes and Izzy still took his calls. This shit got Axl screaming “Do you know where the fuck you are?!?!?!? You’re in jungle the chilling with dolphins baby! You’re gonna diiiiiiiieeeeeeee!!!! Haha oh hell yeah!”
Killer In Axl’s opinion this is pretty fucking killer! Kinda like how it’s pretty fucking killer that his boys Duff and Slash are finally back in the band again after all that time apart doing wack shit separately that no one cared about. Sure this could have and should have happened decades ago and now everyone’s gotta pretend to care about playing “Chinese Democracy” songs but it better than never at all. Checking this shit out made Axl forget all that tho and feel as if he’s back in his glory days between "Appetite" and "Lies", when all of his hair was actually his, Metallica fucking opened up for him and he could still pull off those killer loose mesh shirts, tight as fuck spandex bike shorts, kilts and catchers gear. Back when the worst thing people would ask was “Where’s Izzy?” Much better times indeed my dudes.
Pretty dope Axl is totally amped on this shit cuz it’s giving off a vibe that reminds him of time he wore a purple sports coat to a dinner party where he eded up flexing on his both his normie siblings with a massive lobster. Sure Slash wasn’t there and neither was Duff, Izzy or Popcorn but Axl knows nothing is as important as family even if that includes dunking on them constantly and reminding them they’ll never be as cool as you cuz yer a rockstar. It was a really good party brother and this shit makes Axl feel like he’s back there… Haha oh hell yeah!
Good Axl thinks this is pretty good and he enjoyed it kind of like how he enjoys riding around backstage at whatever arena he’s selling out on his high performance bicycle with cowboy boots on, dishing out smiles to the crew to keep em motivated. In Axl’s opinion this shit is definitely no where near as good as Use Your Illusion II but it’s worth keeping around and he’s already told his psychic Yoda to have it put in his storage unit. Yowzah!
Decent Axl said he was got caught off guard with this and how much he liked it. It blindsided him just like the photo above of him did the first time he saw it. Just looking cool as fuck holding an iconic Mike McGill skateboard in his WAR jacket taking them boys to school with a PHD in sswagonometry, those were the good old days for sure! There are def some flaws here but Axl doesn’t wanna focus on em cuz he’s trying to keep it positive.
Mediocre This isn’t the worst shit Axl’s ever been exposed to but he knows that they could do better and that makes him mad. So mad that now he’s feeling hot, like he’s back bullying Tommy Hilfiger in the VIP area of a NYC nightclub. Deep down he knows this crap is still light years better than his own “Chinese Democracy” not to mention his unlistenable cover of The Rolling Stones “Sympathy For The Devil” but it still gives him a similar feeling to when he made “yellow-jacketing” become a viral term and that just bums him the fuck out.
Bad Axl thought this was BAAAAAAD. He liked this crap about as much as he liked getting arrested by the fuckin’ pigs while they scuffed up his dripped out Versace Guns N’ Roses shirt. Axl’s not really looking to get in the ring over this…. yet, but he’s definitely going to have his security remove them from the area if he ever sees them hanging around him. Axl liked shit about as much as he likes St. Louis, Vince Neil or being called William Bruce Rose Jr. Axl doesn’t need this shit in HIS life!
Terrible This shit is terrible, like when Axl was rocking cornrows, no eyebrows, baggy jerseys and let posers like Korn and Good Charlotte hang out with him in the early 2000’s. Just an embarrassing experience for everyone involved. After checking this crap out Axl threw a tantrum, smashed the hotel TV, called for his fuckin limo and took off, totally bummed that he wasted time on this bullshit. He's hoping whatever the limo's bar is stocked with will help him forget what he just experienced cuz he ain't got nothing better to do, and he's bored. Axl doesn't ever want to think about this again! Kinda like how he doesn't wanna think about how DJ Ashba was in the band for a minute or how while Buckethead was in the band he was allowed a "nunchuck-solo” or that reality show Gilby Clarke was on with Tommy Lee and Jason Newsted called Supernova.
GET IN THE RING Axl thinks this is a total piece of shit and It making him angry like when people think he looks like Rip Taylor or when he remembers somehow Dizzy is still in the band or when they don’t know that Don’t Cry, November Rain and Estranged are a mother-fucking trilogy. This crap pissed off him so bad that he’s ready to GET IN THE RING with everyone responsible!